How many waiters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Not even a burned-out bulb can catch a waiter's attention.
How many poor people does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Poor people don't have light bulbs - they're too expensive.
How many newsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he'll tell everybody.
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Almost unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Into what?
How many Harvard students does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. He holds the light bulb and the universe revolves around him.
How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb?
It all depends on the size of the grant.
How many gorillas does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it sure takes a load of light bulbs!
How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.