Did you hear about the tub of butter?
No.
Well if I tell you about it you need to promise not to spread it around.
Did you hear about the young octopus who became neurotic?
He was a crazy mixed-up squid.
Did you hear about the horse who had a very negative altitude?
He was always saying "Neigh".
Did you hear about the ghost who went to Africa on safari?
He was a big-game haunter.
Did you hear about the idiot who listened to the big match?
He burnt his ear.
Did you hear about the man who had to give up his job in the biscuit factory?
It was making him go crackers.
Did you hear about the car mechanic that fell asleep dreaming about cars?
He woke up exhausted.
Did you hear about the town gossip?
They say that she has a great sense of rumor.
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He is fully recovered now.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.