Doctor: Before coming to see me have you asked anyone else about your condition?
Patient: Yes I spoke with Doctor Brown.
Doctor: And what did that incompetent old fool tell you to do?
Patient: He told me I should come and see you.
Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a rubber band?
You need to snap out of it.
Why is it that doctors call what they do a "practice"?
Doctor: "Come in Joe and take a seat. It's a long time since I've seen you here.
Joe: "I know doctor. It's because I've been ill."
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a frog.
Go on, hop it.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a pig.
Don't worry, I will soon cure you.
Doctor, doctor, my wife keeps thinking that she is a piano.
How does she feel?
Grand.
Patient: Doctor, people keep ignoring me. It's almost as if I don't exist.
Doctor: Next patient please.
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Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I'm turning into a baby cat.
Doctor: You're just kitten me.
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a window.
Doctor: Do you have a pain?