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Humorous Doctor Jokes - 5


This is page 5 of our collection of Humorous Doctor Jokes.

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Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a canary.
I can't tweet you, you need to go and see a vet.

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Doctor, doctor, I've got a little stye.
Then you'd better buy a little pig for it.

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Doctor, Doctor, my brother thinks that he is an elevator.
Well tell him to come in to see me.
He can't. He doesn't stop at this floor.

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Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a telephone.
Well, take these pills and if you don't get any better give me a ring.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a book.
Doctor: Well, sit down here and tell me the story.

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Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pipe sticking out of the back of a car.
I thought you looked a bit exhausted.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a yo-yo.
How do you feel?
A bit up and down.

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Doctor, doctor, what will you give me for a sore throat?
Nothing, I don't want one.

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A doctor sent a bill to his patient. Underneath the bill he wrote: ''This bill is now one year old.'' Back came the reply: ''Happy Birthday!''

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One man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, ''Shingles.'' So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, ''Shingles''. So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history, and told him to wait in an examining room. A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said ''Shingles.'' So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, ''Shingles.'' The doctor said, ''Where?'' He said, ''Outside on my delivery truck. Where do you want them?''


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