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Humorous Doctor Jokes

Here is our collection of humorous jokes and funny stories about doctors and the medical profession.
This is page 1 of 6.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor. You've got to help me! My hands just won't stop shaking.
Doctor: Do you drink a lot of coffee?
Patient: No, I don't drink very much, I spill most of it.

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Patient: Doctor, I have trouble getting to sleep.
Doctor: Well try sitting on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.

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Patient: Doctor, if I take these pills will I get better?
Doctor: Well, nobody I have given them to has ever come back.

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Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a bee.
Buzz off. Can't you see that I'm to busy to see you now?

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Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a dustbin.
Don't talk such garbage.

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Patient: Doctor, I feel like I've become an electric eel.
Doctor: That's shocking.

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Patient: Doctor, can you give me something for my liver?
Doctor: Well, I could give you some onions if you like.

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Patient: Doctor, I think that I'm a tree.
Doctor: We need to try and get to the root of your problem.

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Did you hear about the man who went to the doctor and said he thought he was a suitcase?
The doctor sent him packing.


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